i really, really dislike the trope in fiction that only the assholes, the bullies, and the “villains” can be homophobic. (this goes for any hateful -ism, really, but given that it was prompted by homophobia i’m going to run with that.)
homophobia would be much easier to dismiss if it only came from the douchebags of the population; if everyone ~good~ looked down on it, defended against it; if the line was clear between good person (accepting) and bad person (hateful). that’s not to say it wouldn’t still be hurtful, but there would be that support there of it’s only the assholes, it’s only the assholes.
unfortunately, what makes those comments hurt is that they more often come from people you love, people you’re friends with, people whose opinions you generally respect - your mom, your friend, your coworker, your teacher… hearing a kid in the hallway call someone a dyke might make me flinch, but it was hearing my grandma say it that made me cry.
it’s that discordance - that people who are otherwise very nice, caring, and intelligent can still have ignorant, hateful opinions - that is lost in a lot of fiction. it’s lazy writing, and - it feels to me - defensive. by designating prejudice only to the villains of the piece, the writers both distance themselves (only assholes! not us!) and erase actual experience. you’re not doing a service to us by creating a world where homophobia is only ever wielded by villains; all you’re doing is reducing an experience you’ve likely never had to flat, simplified flaw.
Are You Being Gaslighted?
TURN UP YOUR GASLIGHT RADAR.
CHECK FOR THESE TWENTY TALLTALE SIGNS
Gaslighting may not involve all of these experiences or feelings, but if you recognize yourself in any of them, give it extra attention.
1. You are constantly second-guessing yourself.
2. You ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive?” a dozen times a day.
3. You often feel confused and even crazy at work.
4. You’re always apologizing to your mother, father, boyfriend, boss.
5. You wonder frequently if you are “good enough” girlfriend/wife/employee/friend/daughter.
6. You can’t understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren’t happier.
7. You buy clothes for yourself, furnishings for your apartment, or other personal purchases with your partner in mind, thinking about what he would like instead of what would make you feel great.
8. You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family.
9. You find yourself withholding information from your friends and family so you don’t have to explain or make excuses.
10. You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself.
11. You start lying to avoid the put-downs and reality twists.
12. You have trouble making simple decisions.
13. You think twice before bringing up seemingly innocent topics of conversation.
14. Before your partner comes home, you run through a checklist in your head to anticipate anything you might have done wrong that day.
15. You have the sense that you used to be a very different person—more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.
16. You start speaking to your husband through his secretary so you don’t have to tell him things you’re afraid might upset him.
17. You feel as though you can’t do anything right.
18. Your kids begin trying to protect you from your partner.
19. You find yourself furious with people you’ve always gotten along with before.
20. You feel hopeless and joyless.
is there anyone in the west virginia area that would be willing to take in a young LGBT kid getting away from an abusive home for a few days while the legal shit gets worked out
please i really really really need help even if its just a signal boost this is me fucking begging ple ase
- Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.
- Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?
- Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?
- How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?
- Share one of your strengths.
- Share one of your weaknesses.
- Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
- Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
- Which fic has been the hardest to write?
- Which fic has been the easiest to write?
- Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?
- Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?
- What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?
- What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?
- If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?
- If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?
- Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?
- Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?
- Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?
- Describe your perfect writing conditions.
- How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?
- Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style. (Person sending the ask is free to make suggestions).
- If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?
- Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?
- What do you look for in a beta?
- Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?
- How do you feel about collaborations?
- Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.
- If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?
- Do you accept prompts?
- Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?
- How do you feel about smut?
- How do you feel about crack?
- What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?
- Would you ever kill off a canon character?
- Which is your favorite site to post fic?
- Talk about your current wips.
- Talk about a review that made your day.
- Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?
- Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).